All The Pretty Girls.

As this year is coming to a close, I can feel my friends and I becoming less school oriented and getting into that summer haze. College is something that I have dubbed as unexplainable. I've been asked by multiple people what college is truly like and I don't know how to answer that. I honestly believe that every person experiences something different and that nobody really has the same outlook as another. But I know what I can say... I love college. I love the experience that I've had so far. I love who I have been molded into by this year. My family and I recently had the discussing of what we believe the best time period of our lives has been so far. I am proud to say this past year has been that for me and I look forward to my future years of college. Freshman year is two weeks away from being finished and I have never felt so bittersweet. I have met some of the sweetest, most incredible people and couldn't have expected it when I first got to Purdue. While Purdue is a huge university and it definitely feels like you're going to just be one of the random students, it has such a sense of community. Most Boilermakers have one certain thing in common from what I've seen and that is drive. They are driven to do the things that they whole heartedly believe in and I believe that is what makes us all be able to interact so easily. Often enough, I find myself walking to class and waving to someone I know or even just smiling at a stranger. On such a large campus with so many students, you would never expect to see someone you know on a daily basis. It's incredible.

The picture above shows three of the best friends that I could ask for. Meeting them this year has been an answer to so many prayers over the years and I don't know what I'd do without them. Katie is on the far left and she has the most carefree, loving spirit ever. Christine is to the right of yours truly and often makes comments that are unforgettable as well as being the one person I feel like I can always open up to with no judgements being made. Then there's Chelsea, who makes my days funnier and has a lot more wisdom than even she can see. I'm not going to bore you with the amazing qualities of these three girls, but I want it to be clear that I have never felt such a bond with people in my life. They understand me and I don't feel like I've only known them for nine months- I feel like I've known them for years. (Neale, Debbie, Alisha, Emily, Erin, and Payton have all been quite awesome to get to know as well!)

As a person who has had many hardships with friends in the past, I'm proud to say I don't think that will happen with these girls. I honestly believe we will remain friends as the years go by. So, as the days dwindle by and the end of the year continues to get closer, I wish all the students well, all of the parents patience, and the rest of you, I wish you luck in whatever endeavors you will encounter.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin 

xx Madison

The Start of Something New.

 Welcome to my world.

I never thought that I'd be the type of person to actually want to blog about my life or thoughts and let other people read it. I've always been told that I'm a good writer and I even enjoy it, but I never really show it to that many people. I have dozens of short stories that might be posted here, but to be honest, I don't know what this blog will really entail. There may be tidbits of my life and random things about what I've discovered about myself along the way. There may be paragraphs of disgruntled writing that pertain to people who I randomly encounter. There may be thoughts of my day or completely irrelevant realizations. I suppose this first post is a warning of sorts. A warning that states: Don't continue reading if you don't want to be confused with the thoughts, events, and desires of one Madison Rose Gutwein.

I'm not sure if people hold an expectation for me and I guess that's the scariest part of starting something so public like this. While most people put up these fronts and walls, I like to keep mine torn down. I dislike any sort of hidden emotion or drive because it honestly feels like lying to me. I don't want people to sit there reading what I write and thinking that it doesn't sound like me or 'Madi wouldn't really think about something like that, would she?'. In all reality, my words come across so much easier when they're written down. Writing is free and expressive. It's something you can't really hide behind if you're being honest with yourself and others.

The title of my blog, I Once Was Lost, is in no way just a reference to the hymn 'Amazing Grace'. Sorry to disappoint, but I mean it as so much more than what God has done for me. I have just now reached a point where I feel as though I'm no longer lost. I'm no longer scrambling to find out who I am (though I do realize this may change as time goes by), I'm no longer attempting to find something better in life, and I'm no longer struggling with the person that God has shaped me into. So, while I once was, in fact, lost, I believe that I am found and I will continue to find myself in this world as I am shaped by His guidance.

xx Madison